Osho on Homosexuality

[A sannyasin said he had a problem with his homosexuality, and he is afraid to be here.]

The first thing: heterosexual or homosexual, the answer is not in sex -- so it is not the question of homosexuality. Even if you are a heterosexual, the answer is not there. Looking in the direction of sex there is no answer, so they are both the same.

The first thing: drop worrying about it! Just by being a heterosexual nothing better is going to happen -- it will be the same. So accept your homosexuality just as you accept other things -- hunger.... Now life's answer is not there in eating food -- every day you will feel hungry again, again full, and again hungry. The answer is not there, but that does not mean that because the answer is not there you stop taking food, otherwise you will die.

The answer is not in taking a bath, but that doesn't mean you should stop taking a bath, otherwise you will become dirty and nauseous. The answer is somewhere else, that is true, but to look somewhere else the basic requirement is to accept your normal things. Don't bother about them too much. If you feel homosexual it is perfectly good, nothing is wrong in it. That is also a way of relating -- nothing wrong in it... a little strange, but nothing abnormal about it.

[The sannyasin says: But I can't relate, that's the problem: I cannot relate to people.]

You think that heterosexuals are relating? Who is relating? Everybody is in the same boat! Relating is a great problem -- you cannot relate unless you are rooted in your being... you cannot relate. It has nothing to do with relationship to the other; it has something to do with your inner integration.

Only an integrated person can relate, and the paradox is that he does not bother! An integrated person is not bothered about relating or not relating: if it happens, good; if it doesn't happen, it's good. He is happy with himself, his happiness does not depend on relationship... but only he can relate. And the person who is not self-integrated cannot relate, is continuously bothered about how to relate, and thinks that everything will be good if he can relate.

You have to come to your consciousness, and I am saying that the first requirement is: don't be disturbed too much about your ordinary life, don't create any obsession. If you feel to be homosexual, it is good; if it changes some day and you become heterosexual, that too is good. If you again become homosexual, that too is good. These are ordinary things, nothing worth being worried about. You need not force your attention on them -- they should be taken for granted.

If you eat this type of food, that is good; if you eat another type of food, that too is good. The problem is not there. For example, somebody comes and he says, 'I smoke a certain brand of cigarettes -- now this is my problem.' The brand cannot be the problem: you can change the brand of cigarettes, but the problem will remain the same. That is exactly the thing with the heterosexual and the homosexual: you just change the brand of the cigarette, nothing else.

The first and very fundamental thing is to accept the way you are so there is no need to be bothered about it, no more energy is to be put there. Once that has happened, your energy is available to move inwards. Then you can put your energy more into meditation, not into thinking about how to relate. How to be, let that be your problem: not how to relate... because you can relate only when you are. How can you relate? -- because you can relate only when you are. How can you relate when you are not?

A man came to Buddha -- he was a very rich man -- and he wanted to serve humanity. He wanted Buddha to bless him so that he could open many charitable institutions, hospitals, colleges, schools, and serve humanity. Buddha looked at him with deep compassion -- as if he were very sorry for the man. The man became a little embarrassed. and he said, 'Why are you looking at me as if I am in some trouble? I am not in any trouble -- I have enough money, don't be worried about that!' Buddha said, 'I am not worried about that... I am worried about how you can help humanity. You are not, so whatsoever you will do will be harmful. Please, first be, then only do something!'

So shift the emphasis. It has nothing to do with heterosexuality, homosexuality; nothing to do with it. I accept it as it is: It is good; don't make a problem out of it. If you make a problem out of it you will be continuously stuck there. Not making a problem of it means that now your energy is available, you can move somewhere else.

And relationship remains difficult.... Only a very few people who have come home can relate. Those who are rooted, grounded in their being, only they can relate; otherwise communication is difficult. In fact there is nothing to relate to, nobody to relate from. With whom are you trying to relate? You are not and the person you are trying to relate to is not -- just two ghosts trying to relate, trying to hug each other, and passing through each other because they are not; so the hugging never happens. They are shadows.... First become substantial. So please accept your homosexuality -- it is perfectly normal, nothing is wrong about it. And this is my feeling: once you have known the world of the homosexual, the world of the heterosexual will never appeal to you. There are a thousand and one reasons for it....

A man easily understands the language of the other man -- the woman has a different attitude about everything. If you cannot relate with a man, it will be more difficult to relate with women, because they don't speak the same language.

I used to stay with a family and I watched the problem. Both the husband and wife are good people, very good people, but are constantly arguing and nagging and constantly at the edge, never at ease. I watched them and I saw what the problem was: they were not speaking the same language. In fact no woman speaks the same language as the man -- cannot! And no man speaks the same language as the woman -- he cannot! They are different types of creatures.

When a woman wants to think about something she talks about it. When a man wants to think about something he keeps quiet. When a man is thinking and the woman comes and disturbs him -- for small things: she may ask 'Would you like to have another cup of coffee?' -- he is angry and he says, 'If I need, I will ask!'

Now, she was very loving and he is very blunt. On the surface it seems that it is very ugly of the man to rebuff her in that way, but what is happening inside? He was thinking about something -- now she brings a cup of coffee and disturbs his whole track of thought. He thinks only when he is silent, and when the woman wants to think, she talks -- that is her way of thinking: she thinks aloud.

A husband sitting silently looks as if he is angry or something, sad or something, and when the wife continuously talks the husband thinks, 'She never thinks! What is the matter? She just goes on talking -- never thinks. She has nothing to say and goes on talking!' Two different kinds of psychologies... so remember that. Once you are interested homosexually you have found a relationship which is easier, less challenging, less risky, with less conflict. That's why homosexuals are called 'gay' -- they are gay! Heterosexuals are always sad, there is always some problem or other.

Homosexuals are really gay, happy people -- they understand each other. If you understand yourself a little bit, you understand the other man you love. There is a great ' understanding between the persons... and it is so with lesbians.

A woman understands another woman. Once a woman is a lesbian it is very difficult to turn her energy into heterosexuality, very difficult because she relates well -- better -- with a woman. She understands her heart -- it is her own heart; they belong to the same world and the same dimension.

So once it happens it becomes very difficult to change. But I am not saying that there is any need to move to the other -- there is no need: accept it, nothing is wrong in it. Accept yourself totally and be happy the way you are.

[The sannyasin says: Really, I want to just get up and dance all the time.... But I feel very restricted.]

No, no, nobody is restricting you. Be gay!


This Is It Chapter #4 4 May 1977

Osho on Homosexuality

Original Question:

The questioner says: I have a lover...and I have an eating disorder. Osho asks: The lover is a man? The questioner answers: Yes.

* * *

Osho:

... that won’t help much. Your Montreal is almost all homosexual, the whole city. That won’t help much, that cannot become the real thing, because both the energies are the same. It cannot give you a deep fulfillment -- at the most it remains masturbatory. A woman is needed. It is as if you are trying to be reborn from a man. I think sooner or later in Montreal people will try that -- to be finished with women completely. But you are born out of a woman, and deep inside the unconscious you carry an image of a woman, not a man. And unless you find a woman with whom you can be in the same deep love as you were with your mother, into whom you can again enter as you were in the womb of your mother, you will not be fulfilled. You are deceived -- homosexuality will not help. It can give you a certain comfort -- but it is false. To fit perfectly a man needs a woman, a woman needs a man. They are polar opposites, and that polarity is needed. It is just as if you are trying to create electricity without polar opposites, without positive and negative. Sex is a deep function of bio-electricity. You are an electrical phenomenon, a woman is an electrical phenomenon. She is negative, you are positive; she is passive, you are active. When the active energy meets with the passive energy in deep communion, there is a fulfillment, there is orgasm. A cosmic experience happens which leaves no emptiness in you, at least for the time being. But your making love to a man, or a woman making love to a woman, is not going to help. I am not against homosexuality: I am simply stating a fact. I have no condemnation for it, but it will not be fulfilling -- that much I have to say. ...Find a woman. If you cannot find one, tell me. The questioner answers: I feel very great friendship towards women....I feel love, but I don’t feel like I want to make love. Osho: You will have to. It has become a habit and you have to get out of it. It has become a dead routine. Make a friendship with a man -- and that you are doing with women. Make love to a woman -- and that you are doing with men. You are topsy-turvy. The questioner replies: But I was also married.... Osho: You remained homosexual. You have made love to a woman but you were never in it. So try it again, and try here. Just open your eyes and look again. I know how difficult it is, because once homosexuality settles in the mind you are attracted only towards men. Suddenly women don’t exist; they are no longer attractive. But this is dangerous. Then this food problem will remain with you your whole life -- and this is not the only problem. Others will remain and it will be difficult to solve them. You just have a look. Find a woman, and even if you just feel friendship, bring her to me, because I will have to talk to the woman to force you out of your habit. You will need a very very wise woman to bring you out of your rut. I will make her wise. You just find one! And if you cannot, I will find a woman and force her to seduce you! But first you try -- because the very effort will be very very good. So from tomorrow morning you start looking. There are many beautiful women around here, don’t be worried. Somebody will take pity! Once you enter into a relationship, the right relationship in which things flow, your food problem will disappear. It has to disappear; it is not a problem, it is just symptomatic. Try, and then we will see. Make it a real search, sincerely try to find a woman, mm? Because it is time...if you delay, then every day it will be later and later, and things will become more difficult.

Osho: Above All Don’t Wobble, Chapter 11

Osho on Vipassana

Question:
Dear Swamiji
I am from kosovo and wanted to start Vipassana meditation. I heard about it but do not know how to do. Can you guide me since i am far from my home and you.
yours
Singha

Osho Answers:

Buddha's way was VIPASSANA - vipassana means witnessing. And he found one of the greatest devices ever: the device of watching your breath, just watching your breath. Breathing is such a simple and natural phenomenon and it is there twenty-four hours a day. You need not make any effort.
Buddha discovered a totally different angle: just watch your breath - the breath coming in, the breath going out. There are four points to be watched. Sitting silently just start seeing the breath, feeling the breath. The breath going in is the first point. Then for a moment when the breath is in it stops - a very small moment it is - for a split second it stops; that is the second point to watch. Then the breath turns and goes out; this is the third point to watch. Then again when the breath is completely out, for a split second it stops; that is the fourth point to watch. Then the breath starts coming in again... this is the circle of breath.
If you can watch all these four points you will be surprised, amazed at the miracle of such a simple process - because mind is not involved. Watching is not a quality of the mind; watching is the quality of the soul, of consciousness; watching is not a mental process at all. When you watch, the mind stops, ceases to be. Yes, in the beginning many times you will forget and the mind will come in and start playing its old games. But whenever you remember that you had forgotten, there is no need to feel repentant, guilty - just go back to watching, again and again go back to watching your breath. Slowly slowly, less and less mind interferes.
And when you can watch your breath for forty-eight minutes as a continuum, you will become enlightened. You will be surprised - just forty-eight minutes - because you will think that it is not very difficult... just forty-eight minutes! It it is very difficult. Forty-eight seconds and you will have fallen victim to the mind many times. Try it with a watch in front of you; in the beginning you cannot be watchful for sixty seconds. In just sixty seconds, that is one minute, you will fall asleep many times, you will forget all about watching - the watch and the watching will both be forgotten. Some idea will take you far far away; then suddenly you will realize... you will look at the watch and ten seconds have passed. For ten seconds you were not watching. But slowly slowly - it is a knack; it is not a practice, it is a knack - slowly slowly you imbibe it, because those few moments when you are watchful are of such exquisite beauty, of such tremendous joy, of such incredible ecstasy, that once you have tasted those few moments you would like to come back again and again - not for any other motive, just for the sheer joy of being there, present to the breath.
Remember, it is not the same process as is done in yoga. In yoga the process is called PRANAYAM; it is a totally different process, in fact just the opposite of what Buddha calls vipassana. In pranayam you take deep breaths, you fill your chest with more and more air, more and more oxygen; then you empty your chest as totally as possible of all carbon dioxide. It is a physical exercise -- good for the body but it has nothing to do with vipassana. In vipassana you are not to change the rhythm of your natural breath, you are not to take long, deep breaths, you are not to exhale in any way differently than you ordinarily do. Let it be absolutely normal and natural. Your whole consciousness has to be on one point; watching.
And if you can watch your breath then you can start watching other things too. Walking you can watch that you are walking, eating you can watch that you are eating, and ultimately, finally, you can watch that you are sleeping. The day you can watch that you are sleeping you are transported into another world. The body goes on sleeping and inside a light goes on burning brightly. Your watchfulness remains undisturbed, then twenty-four hours a day there is an undercurrent of watching. You go on doing things... for the outside world nothing has changed, but for you everything has changed.
Osho: Dhammapada, The Way of the Buddha Vol.5 # 1